did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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