Buhtt sex?
I just cut my nipple shaving
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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