I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i was born a porn star she said
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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