in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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