Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
