Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
