i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
