Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
