dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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