This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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