I wanna bring you to show and tell
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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