Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
