If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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