the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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