There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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