There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I want a musical about memes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
