There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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