so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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