does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
