Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
