I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
