the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
