How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
All I want is dick and wine.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
