i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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