Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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