So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
