wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
thus making me awesome and them whores
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize