nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
