do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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