Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
