ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize