420 ftw
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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