you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Is Oprah even human
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
