I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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