Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
