I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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