I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
