She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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