I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
vagina is talking i cant
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
