She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
