How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Randomize
