is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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