my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
