she was so not down for the gang bang
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
