Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?

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(630): View more from Illinois

Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

you found the shrooms didnt you

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!

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(516): View more from New York

is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?

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(216): View more from Ohio

I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.

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