let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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