**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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