we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
