In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
