Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
